


The Penthouse Problem

by plant_boi_potter



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Annoying Waitresses, Coffee Shop, Cute, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Lime (barely there), M/M, Moving In Together, New Relationship, Owls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 21:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18039680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plant_boi_potter/pseuds/plant_boi_potter
Summary: They didn't think the next step would happen quite like this.





	The Penthouse Problem

**Author's Note:**

> I was procrastinating.   
> Note: No owls were harmed in the making of this fic.

An owl hooted nearby and Scorpius felt like banging his head on the desk. This was it. He was done.

\---

Re: The Current Circumstance  
Dear Paul Hargreave,  
Thank you for providing me with a very hot - not to mention - damp Penthouse over the last sixteen months. I have really enjoyed dealing with the disruptive neighbours, particularly the one who likes to drink in the middle of the night.  
I also love clearing up after the the howling dogs that seem to roam the neighbourhood. (I once caught two owls pecking at the sofa in the living room.)  
Incidentally, the living room is like a lifeless jail and the attic has moss growing on the walls.  
Perhaps, given that you deem 1 Saint Richardson Church St. an acceptable place to live, you would like to inhabit it for a while. When it gales, raindrops fall through the roof. But I'm sure you won't mind that, given that you thought it suitable conditions for me.  
The area is relatively crime free, during my time here, I have only known of two kidnappings and three robberies, making my Penthouse a steal at the current rent.  
It is with a most dejected heart that I hereby give notice on 1 Saint Richardson Church St..  
I've left a pair of owls drinking the stale water in the bath to express my gratitude.  
Yours sincerely  
Scorp

\---

Albus spluttered into his coffee. “You didn't?” 

“I did.” Scorpius stirred his tea absentmindedly before taking a sip and wincing. 

Albus reached over the table to pull Scorp's mug closer. Albus relented, smirking.   
Groping the sides of the mug with both hands, Albus swore tersely. The waitress at the next table narrowed her eyes at him as she cooed at the couples' baby.  
“You didn't tell me it was hot.” He hissed, paying no mind to the – now curious waitress.

“It's tea Al.” Scorpius said flatly.  
“You don't say.” A giggle erupted in Albus' stomach. He clamped his lips together in a tight line once Albus started to grimace.

“Okay. Okay”. He wheezed. “You were saying-Housing?” Albus cut himself off. Scorpius offhandedly wondered how often he actually did that. Because – in his experience at least – it seemed to be all the time.

He was dragged out of the contemplation (which took a lot more time than he cared to admit), by a foot inching up his calf. “Stop it, we're in public.” It hadn't helped that Scorpius was prone to going very pink.  
The waitress sniffed at them disdainfully. She snapped her notepad shut, loudly, before marching off to another table. 

Of course, Al just sniggered, settling lower in his seat so he could brush his foot against Scorpius' inner thigh.

\---

It was nearing five o' clock and Albus had given up his teasing in favour of lacing his fingers through Scorpius' own, outstretched right hand. Scorpius tapped Albus' knuckles.

“What do I do, Al?” Scorpius' face seemed, if possible, to have grown paler in the last minute and a half.

Realisation dawned on his face. “You need a place to stay”, he said. It wasn't a question. 

“Yes.” Scorpius removed his hand to rub at his neck awkwardly. “I suppose I do”.

“Stay with me – if you like.” Albus raised an eyebrow before Scorpius could interrupt him. Relenting, Scorpius nodded for him to continue. “On one condition”.  
“Depends what it is”. Scorpius' eyes narrowed. "It shan't involve owls... will it?" Scorpius' face was incredulously terrified, his pupils blown so wide it was almost comical.

Albus roared with laughter. “No. but you do have to buy me another coffee.”


End file.
